Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
