Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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