did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
