Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just tell him i said nine months
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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