Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize