So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize