please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
