at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
