when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
