Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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