I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
