That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
