I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
