Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize