I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
