That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
