and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
