I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
this is an emotional support booty call
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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