just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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