We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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