I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
