why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
thus making me awesome and them whores
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
