I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
