We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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