i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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