spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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