I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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