I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize