You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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