you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
