idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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