oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
