Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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