I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
