I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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