is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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