I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
