I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
