Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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