As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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