pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
