look no pants
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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