She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
