Me too!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
