so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
