How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
zippers are such a cool invention
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
