is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
