I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
