even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
