we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
