It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
