2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
