I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
