I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
