Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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