this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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