I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We were destined to go to rehab together
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
