i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
