found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
