She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
