Your tits are I can't wait for
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
