oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize