Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
