hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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