she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
